my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize
