He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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