there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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