Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Bring me that man meat
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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