He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
