I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
