I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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