She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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