I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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