hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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