Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
