I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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