I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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