Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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