Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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