umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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