I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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