I accidentally burped into my bong.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
