I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
