I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
