You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just tell him i said nine months
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
