She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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