3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So here I am, sexting at work.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
