return my video game
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
