But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
