i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
