I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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