She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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