I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
