So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
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I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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