i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
