I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
