what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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