I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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