Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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