Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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