if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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