what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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