hotel room ftw
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is classic penis vs brain.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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