We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you didnt know i had herpes?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
