The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
