oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize