Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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