my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
