Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
