I'm drive I can fine osifer
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
