have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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