How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
