i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
