Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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