Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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