Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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