Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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