Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
