32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
