i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had to cum in my sink.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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