you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
