I will die if light touches me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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